There will always be a need for social commentary and dystopian warnings, but in an increasingly unstable world I believe it is vital to also articulate hopeful visions of the future. I take solace in the quiet power of intimate human interaction and would like to imagine a future where kindness and compassion are the primary drivers in decision making.

Well, I wrote all that for an open call that I was applying to before the 28th February 2026. The stakes seem a little higher now, but I still believe we need to protect our creativity and try to imagine new horizons that aren’t quite so full of materialism and bloodshed.

IN MY MIND’S EYE

The work unfolds within a vast industrial warehouse space. I enter this space alone and without technological devices. The lighting is exquisite. The only sound is the gentle beating of hearts. As my eyes adjust to the ambient light, bodies gradually emerge within the space. Suspended from the ceiling, cameras with macro lenses project various parts of these bodies onto large screens, magnifying them in real time. I see eyes and ears, mouths and noses, hands, ankles, nipples, hair, skin, nails. Bodies of different ages and abilities stand dispersed throughout the space, each holding stethoscope microphones to their chest. As they stand motionless, speechless, just breathing and being, a collective meditation takes place. The work demands engagement. Slowly the bodies begin to express hopes and dreams for the future. A softly spoken vision of optimism, peaceful and serene. In conclusion the bodies move towards a gesture of physical closeness, before an usher re-enters to remind me my time is up. Just ten minutes have passed and I am led back out of the space, leaving behind the bodies as they return to their places.

Recommended:

Dina Ögon - Människobarn

Gorgeous new album from Swedish band Dina Ögon, you can still sing along, even if you can’t speak Swedish.

Check it out here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - 33 Hours (Live at Simple Things)

New video of the RLR performance at Bristol Beacon featuring Chris Langton on drums and Dorian Childs-Prophet on keys.

Check it out here.

Run Logan Run - An Ear In Place Of A Mouth

COMING APRIL / JUNE / JULY :)

Grandad died on Saturday evening. At the time, Daniella and I were staying in an AirBnB in Warminster, watching Don’t Look Now - Nicolas Roeg’s seminal study on grief (irony not missed). Dad called around 9pm and I could tell straight away from the slight waver in his voice what he was about to say, “Not very good news I’m afraid”. Even though I knew it was imminent, I didn’t expect to hear it at that moment. I’m not exactly sure what I thought, something along the lines of, “maybe there’s more time”, and then there wasn’t. I suppose also, that I might be lucky enough to be there to say goodbye. But I get it, he did a French exit and slipped away. Saying goodbye is really, really hard, especially when it’s total.

He looked at me right in the eyes and said, “This might be the last time I see you”. After a short pause, during which I tried to find some collection of words in response, but very quickly realised that the entire dictionary fell short, I gently held his hand and locked eyes back. As we hung, suspended in the most sublime moment, he began to smile and I smiled back, slowly at first and then broader until I felt as though I was going to start laughing. Not nervous laughter, but a happy laughter of relief. He had this cheeky grin on his face and a glint in his eye, as if he knew there was nothing to worry about - acceptance. I told him I loved him and I hoped this wasn’t the last time I would see him. It wasn’t a long moment, but it was enough. I didn’t know then that was a final goodbye, but I do know now, and it was about as perfect as it could be.

He was a courageous man, stubbornly independent until the very end. He would always say, “That’s the nature of the beast”, and during Covid, “I’m not ready to go yet” - and he wasn’t. Still gardening in his 90s, still looking after himself. When Grandma got Alzheimer’s, he cared for her twenty four hours a day, for years and years until she finally took a turn for the worse during lockdown and was cruelly rushed into isolation. When she passed, one of the nurses in the care home told us that Grandad had written to her every single day she was in there. Seeing him kiss the head of her coffin with tears in his eyes broke my heart.

My fondest memories are in his garage, teaching me how to silver solder, join wood, operate a steam engine, identify mineral samples. Down the allotment picking runner beans and marrows, that Grandma would stuff with mincemeat, and executing slugs. Once he rigged a pulley system in the tree so I could winch myself up into the canopy with just one finger. I remember him showing me photos of his travels to Sardinia, Egypt, Turkey, Saga holidays - so many photos. One Christmas Day, we went out for a walk and he was still wearing the plastic pearl necklace he’d won in a cracker. He had this excellent full head mask of a werewolf that he’d sometimes dress up in, and when my sister refused to finish her dinner he’d threaten her with a big plastic funnel. Every time I’d leave, he’d give me a tenner and say, “Buy yourself some fags”. Just the once, he tried to get me interested in The Masons. He told me that if I wanted to join I would need money, but that he could sort it for me. Also, that if I were to be initiated in Bristol, it would be spectacular.

Grandad’s tales of wartime youth were both terrifying and exhilarating - find an unexploded incendiary bomb detonator, put it in a vice and hit it with a hammer. This is exactly the kind of stupid shit that I used to do at that age. His thumb had a chunk missing. At the time he lived in Wimbledon and recounted how occasionally the classroom windows at school would blow open before the explosion of a V2 rocket could be heard rattling through the building. When the menacing noise of the Doodlebugs would suddenly stop, you would just stand still and pray. He was evacuated out to the Welsh countryside and sent to a new school where the teachers were obviously not up to standard. By slowly inserting a splint into a lit bunsen burner and pulling it out to reveal a teardrop shape of unburnt wood inside a ring of char, Grandad proved his point that the centre of the flame was actually cold. This act made his teacher look like a tit and got him expelled, so then he went to work helping the local milkman on his float.

Grandad used to make wrought iron stuff for Harrods and did National Service as a tank engineer. He was a King Scout and knew all his knots and went canoeing a lot (another unexploded bomb story on an island in the Thames). He rode a motorbike and drove Grandma, Dad and Sue all across Eastern Europe with a caravan. What a man! Fuck, I’m really sad he’s gone, devastated in fact. But I’m grateful to have known him for so long and so happy to have had that relationship - what a gift. So when I feel sad, I will remember all that inspiring stuff, and go out there and do you proud. Thank you Grandad, I’ll miss you.

P.S. I still have that attachment for drilling around corners - you always brought me cool shit from the middle of Lidl.

Recommended:

Dina Ögon - Dina Ögon

This is what music is supposed to sound like. In their own words, “Dina Ögon is the bastard love child of Eric B. & Rakim , Fleetwood Mac , Selda Bağcan and Ted Gärdestad. Hailing from Stockholm, Sweden aswell as Istanbul, Turkey and Cali, Colombia. Old timers in the game. For your eyes, for us all.”

Listen here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Michael Gianan & Andrew Neil Hayes - Louisiana Basement

This Thursday 4th Dec!!

Marking the release of their debut 7” release on Skew Note, Michael Gianan & Andrew Neil Hayes will be playing a solo set each, before coming together for a collaborative duo set.

Tickets here.

It was precisely the thing I needed to hear at that moment in time. Nature Will Take Care Of You had recently come out. The day the lead single, Great Fools, dropped was the same day the Queen died. We had high hopes for it doing well on radio, but in respect for the Monarch, all stations were closed for a week; cue Operation London Bridge. At the time, it felt like watching two years of work corkscrew down the plug hole. Now, having read this book cover to cover several times, Success is the chapter I regularly return to, especially when feeling shit about business. Rick’s words have that wonderful quality of telling you things that deep down you already know. Which is comforting, because it reassures you that you’re on the right track, and gives you permission to follow those intuitions. I like to read a chapter every day as part of my morning routine, to keep my mind focussed on what’s really important.

I think artists must fiercely protect personal ideas of success, because our creative lives really do depend on this. It’s almost impossible not to get drawn into ideas of popular success, and by extension monetary success. Ever since the advent of agriculture, humans have had a nasty impulse to attach monetary value onto absolutely everything; especially rare and beautiful things like art, that really have no business being currency. Whereas hunter gather’s knew they could move onto new pastures when supplies began to dwindle, Farmer’s stuck with their lot became greedy, driven by a fear of lack. Apart from our chosen palette and tools, all we need is time and space. Sometimes spending days / months / years seemingly doing nothing but thinking, can be entirely productive in bringing work to fruition. It’s a most awful affliction to feel like a failure if you’re not visibly productive all of the time. But not everything of worth can be seen or heard. We must try not to fall into the trap of churning out base-level, low value work, just to satisfy our need to feel productive, for I fear this may come at the expense of truly valuable work.

Nish Kumar talks about this process of time on the podcast 101 Part Time Jobs with Giles Bidder (highly recommend road fodder).

“If you’re wondering why bands are all posh, it’s literally because the apprenticeship in most art forms is unpaid… We don’t talk enough about the systemic conditions in the kind of post-war period, that allowed four working class boys from Liverpool to go to art school so they had two years to experiment. And again, that state investment they have got back a trillion times over. Like the fucking Beatles have put more money into this country than so many CEOs of multinational companies.”

On halloween, my partner and I binged a load of BBC archive footage on Youtube. We came across a lovely little piece entitled 1962: The People Who Live on Spurn Point, during which the reporter Julian Pettifer, spends time with the lifeboat men and their families who live on this remote and treacherous piece of land. Julian concludes, “Sociologists and Psychiatrists tell us that one of the problems we face in the future is the problem of leisure. How are people going to fill all their spare time as the working week gets shorter?” Cue laughter out loud.

Youtube’s algorithm graciously suggested another most insightful video this week. David Foster Wallace on Reading, Consumerism and American Politics. The interviewer begins by remarking that, “In Germany we have this TV, literary expert and we call him the literary Pope. People think he has a very good view of everything and when he says the book is good, the book is good… What he doesn’t want is a book to be boring, by no means boring. And at the same time, he really understands a lot about books and he really is a good reader, but by saying all the time, things are not supposed to be boring, I think that’s really a mistake. I feel sometimes I also have this feeling that I don’t want to be bored, but on the other side I see that it’s not the option.”

I’ve transcribed most of David’s response below, because it appears to me he smashed that nail right on the head (and drove it deep into the substrate).

He goes on to discuss how being grown up isn’t always a lot of fun, and you often have to do things you don’t want to do.

Well David, I think you made a lot of sense. In other news, LV:HRD, the second instalment of Run Logan Run’s new Prey / LV /Ears trilogy of EPs is out today.

Run Logan Run built its reputation off the back of intense live shows, but chasing that energy and being able to turn it on and off on demand was takings its toll. I was desperate for time and space to create new sounds, free from the restraint of expectation. From the beginning, the project was set up as a vehicle to do #wotevathefukwewanted. Experimentation has always been at the core of my music making process and Prey/LV/Ears is the next evolution of this. I was waiting for the opportunity to partner up with BB.JAMES and Jonathan Wolf my entire life. We’ve been lifelong friends, but for various reasons the right moment to collaborate only just materialised. I also roped in Bristol’s busiest drummer, Ryan Thrupp. We spent a lot of time messing about in the studio, making strange noises, chatting shit, having a laugh basically. Trying to shed the pretence of past excursions.

LV:HRD refers to those fucked up moments in your life where people you love are fatally ill and all you can do is love them through all the grief and pain and anger. It also touches on the difficult practice of trying to love your enemies. I decided to release the album as 3 EPs because I knew it would be easier to drag myself back into the public ears that way, to commit in small steps. I’ve realised I need to make the practical parts of the project as simple as possible, so I can worry about making the creative aspects as deep as I need them to be. A special mention must also go to Adam Barringer of Skew Note, who initially convinced me to get back in the studio and also contributed his amazing graphic design talents to the project.

I’m aware that I initially stated I was going to release new writings on this Substack every Monday, and it’s now Friday and over three weeks since the last post. So much has happened that I could continue writing about The Funktion; Gianan and Hayes; living; illness; dying; a slow and steady decline; a gracious acceptance. But I shall endeavour to write again next week and tackle some of those topics then. If you’ve got to the end of today’s writing, I congratulate you.

Recommended:

Marina Abramović - Walk Through Walls: A Memoir

I’m only half way through, but this book offers an honest and fascinating insight into one of the most influential living artists. Her singular devotion to the cause is breathtaking.

Current and forthcoming works:

Stone Cold Hustle - The Funktion

Bringing the warmth just in time for winter, STONE COLD HUSTLE presents a night of funk, soul, rare-groove and disco.

Featuring support from rising star LILY MACKAY, singing songs from the heart with a blend of Alt-RnB and Neo-soul, and very special guest compère ROB SHORT (Cleo Laine, George Ezra).

We’ve also got FLOOR TILE bringing a trusty selection of disco records from near and far, known and unknown, old and new, good and bad.

We’ll be transforming THE KUUMBA CENTRE with candle lit tables, space to dance, and nothing but good vibrations all night long, with vegan food and refreshment provided by Bingyi Empress. So dress nice if you like or come as you are, all welcome.

Grab a ticket here.

Run Logan Run - LV:HRD

The second instalment of the Prey / LV / Ears trilogy. Gilles Peterson has played tracks on both his Worldwide FM and BBC Radio 6 Music shows, and Skew Yew was selected as KCRW’s Today’s Top Tune. Listen here.

Another day, another run. Last Saturday I completed the Beachy Head Marathon - 26.16 miles, 1164 meters elevation gain. Having only ever run distances of up to 16 miles prior to this, my goal was simply to get to the end. I was thinking, “I’ll be happy if I can get it done in anything under 5.5 hours, but even just getting to the finish line will be a win”. My plan was to run as slow and steady as possible, aiming for maximum efficiency. I was striving for that sweet spot that feels like you could keep it up forever. So, contrary to how I would normally go about it (and almost everything else in my life), instinctively running as fast as I can, I pretty much ran as slow as I could.

At school they teach you that it’s the taking part that counts, but we all know there are winners and losers. My teachers forgot to mention that the people you’re racing against are all inside of you. Each time I felt the pull to speed up and overtake the person in front of me, I reminded myself that the effort came at a price and I’d most likely pick up the bill later on. Bargaining with my will, I asserted “You can only overtake ten people throughout the race, so choose wisely!” I overheard one women that I ran past say, “I’ll get the result I deserve, not result I want” - God damn!

Somewhat surprisingly, the bill didn’t arrive until mile 21, at which point I had to draw on sheer brute force of will to force myself through the burning desire to give up. There was fear and doubt, lack of self-esteem and disbelief, aversion to pain and suffering and general laziness, all vying for my attention. The big “What if I can’t do this?”. Like when you’re tripping and you can see monsters in the corners of your eyes, and all you can do is acknowledge that they’re there and get on with it - “I see you muthafucker, I see you”. At some point you say to yourself, “What if I can’t do it…? So fucking what?”, and then you just get on with it.

A mantra: “C’mon lad, let’s get it done”.

It sounds like a lie, but honestly the physical aspect of the run was no big deal. Physically speaking, it didn’t feel much harder than a half marathon / 10K / 5K. The hardest part was, as it always is, putting on my shoes. Mentally, it was one hell of a trip, beating me over the head with the importance of pace, tenacity, courage, intention - “Stay cool muthafucker”. I got it done in 04:43, coming in at 201 out of just over 1000 runners. It feels like the culmination of many difficult lessons. If like me, it’s something you’ve always fancied adding to your to do list, I concur with what Nike said.

Special thanks to everyone who supported the fundraiser for Wellbeing Of Women, we raised over £1200! Extra special thanks to my parkner and family - I couldn’t have done it without your help.

Recommended:

Annie Gardiner - Hero’s Hem

“As promised, a follow up from 2021’s dark sad folk song album ‘Bloodletting’, with a stunning video by film artist and all round awesome being, Laura Phillips!”

Check it out here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival @ Bristol Beacon (7th Nov)

First gig in quite some time, we play in the foyer of Bristol Beacon at 7pm on 7th November. Chris Langton (Snazzback) on drums, Dorian Childs-Prophet (Zoobers) on keys, and BB.JAMES (Liam Bailey) on vocals. It’s a free gig so get down early and also catch BUNNY on support!!!

Stone Cold Hustle Presents The Funktion @ The Kuumba Centre (28th Nov)

Bringing the warmth just in time for winter, Stone Cold Hustle present a night of funk, soul, rare-groove and disco. Candle lit tables with space to dance, nothing but good vibrations all night long.

Featuring rising star Lily Mackay, singing songs from the heart with a blend of Alt-RnB and Neo-soul, and very special guest Rob Short (Cleo Laine, George Ezra) comparing the night.

Tickets available here.

Run Logan Run - Skew Yew

The second single from the forthcoming EP ‘LV:HRD’ out now on all the usual channels. Listen here.

How can an artist be anything other than self-absorbed? Perhaps, only by some calling of divine dedication to a higher purpose, a force of gravity powerful enough to pull us out of our own orbit and allow the music to flow uninhibited. Be a channel, be a vessel. Is this why so many of the great horn players travelled a journey of addiction and deprivation, desperation and deliverance? Ending up deeply spiritual and devoted, and playing the most crazy and free-out-there-fucked-up-shit!

A few sweeping statements - Human beings are social creatures that possess an unusual aptitude for communication and expression. Does an ant, or a cat, or a horse, or a snake, or an anteater feel the need to express itself? How can we understand anything from anything other than an anthropocentric point of view? As people, we communicate through a variety of methods that make use of our senses. Those who wouldn’t consider themselves ‘artists’, still express themselves all the time…

“What shall we have for dinner tonight?” (I’m hungry). “I think I’ll get an early night” (I’m tired). A hug and a kiss goodbye (I love you and I care for you). Through the clothes they wear and the things they post on social media. What then differentiates the Artist? Some nagging need to justify our existence, to reassure ourselves that working tirelessly in the studio for years on end for little or no recognition is a worthy endeavour. The work alone has to be enough. Have we completely overthought the issue and gone too far up our bum holes?

At this point I should like to sweep all that crap off the table and get back to where we started. On a subconscious, intuitive level, we feel a need to do it. It happens when we’re not thinking about much at all, it just comes out of us. If we are to believe this hopeful point of view, it would make sense to assume a certain level of sensitivity is required to be aware of this calling within ourselves. Presumably a sensitivity strong enough to force us into acting on the inclinations, despite the fact they may go against what’s considered ‘normal’ behaviour. It would follow that the more sensitive you are, the more likely you will become an artist.

This sensitivity is a blessing and a curse. Being able to tap the depths of despair might make for a compelling painting, but it’s a fucking nuisance when you’re just trying to get on with everyday chores. If your occupation relies on channeling strong emotions, you start to feel everything around you acutely and it’s debilitating. “Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again”. Cue addiction, coping strategies, codependence, isolation, a world of pain. If you’re highly sensitive to behavioural suggestions, tone of voice, a roll of the eyes, how can you not be anything other than wallowing in self-pity?

Check the liner notes for Bon Iver’s latest album SABLE, fABLE:

“Being Bon Iver meant playing a part, and intentionally leaning into that role meant frequently pressing hard on a metaphorical bruise… Vernon’s best songs are the saddest ones, and there’s a kind of unintentional toxic reinforcement that comes when everyone praises your most depressed instincts.”

Or my favourite chapter from Rick Rubin’s book The Creative Act, entitled Success:

“If you are living in the belief that success will cure your pain, when the treatment comes and it doesn’t work, it can lead to hopelessness. A depression can accompany the realisation that what you’ve spent most of your life chasing hasn’t fixed your insecurities and vulnerabilities. More likely, with the stakes and consequences now higher, it has only amplified the pressure. And we are never taught how to handle this epic disappointment.”

And so I’ve come to realise one of the most important pieces of knowledge a teacher can impart onto their students, is the practice of learning to wield one’s sensitivity, to one’s advantage. To know when to access it, and when to put it back in it’s box. Because if we do not learn to master and control it, it will surely master and control us. And for fucks sake, can we not just get back to the joy of art? Does it all have to be so heavy handed? Can we not just be grateful for the uplifting feeling?

I was chatting to my dearest friend BB.JAMES. We were talking about how the minute we notice our ducks are in a row, they float off and become all mixed up again. Best sling that pack back on my shoulder and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Running and practicing can be lonely pursuits. Having recently stepped up both of these activities (in preparation for the marathon next weekend and the Run Logan Run gig on 7th Nov), I’ve been experiencing that feeling a lot. Often as my body engages with the workout, my brain begins to wonder into all kinds of self-pity and I gently coax it back by thinking about all the wonderful people in my life, who I feel a deep love for. “We’re born alone and we die alone” - I can’t remember where this quote comes from and I’m not looking it up because I don’t care for it. In the moment of birth at least, we are presumably with our mothers, exiting their womb. As a lone ranger, I would like to take care not to merely express that I’m alone, but rather that if you are feeling lonely, that’s okay. Extending an arm around your shoulder, everybody hurts sometimes. Being in a band with your best mates is the ideal. That scene from American Pie comes to mind, where Jim’s dad talks about masturbation, “It’s like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it’s not a game. What you want, is you want a partner to return the ball.”

In other news, the second single from ‘LV:HRD’ is out tomorrow!

“Working with Jonathan Wolf pushed me to consider how I can use the studio itself as an instrument. How can I manipulate analog outboard with computer controlled FX sends? What happens if I redline the input on a 1980’s digital reverb? How can I wrangle time and space in a way that’s not possible on stage? BB.JAMES added her seductive vocal in one take. ‘Skew Yew’ is dedicated to Adam and his label Skew Note, as a thank you for persuading me to get back to it.”

Special preview here!

Recommended:

Leif Maine, Jackson Mathod, Damu The Fudgemunk - Transmorpher

I’ve become totally obsessed with this EP. Dark and groovy, the drums are exceptional. Listen here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival @ Bristol Beacon (7th Nov)

First gig in quite some time, we play in the foyer of Bristol Beacon at 7pm on 7th November. Chris Langton (Snazzback) on drums, Dorian Childs-Prophet (Zoobers) on keys, and BB.JAMES (Liam Bailey) on vocals. It’s a free gig so get down early and also catch BUNNY on support!!!

Stone Cold Hustle - Funk Revue @ The Kuumba Centre (28th Nov)

The idea is to create a kind of sit down jazz club vibe, not too pretentious, just a place to chill and listen to music with space to dance later on! Stay tuned for ticket link and further details.

Run Logan Run - Skew Yew (R/D 21st Nov)

The second single from the forthcoming EP ‘LV:HRD’ drops tomorrow, on all the usual channels. Here’s a special preview.

Beachy Head Marathon - In support of Wellbeing of Women

I’m running this challenging trail marathon in support of the charity Wellbeing of Women, and in memory of Dr Quinn. “Family is the most important thing to me and Dr Quinn was instrumental in enabling my sister to have baby Ezra. Without his help it might not have been possible for my sister to give birth.”

If you would like to support, please visit the Just Giving page here.

All the cars in the carpark were staring at me. Each had a different personality, some looked perfectly friendly, but others quite malevolent. I was too scared to look them directly in the eye, I just took quick side glances. It was interesting trying to manage the claustrophobic feeling of being surrounded, whilst knowing they couldn’t actually hurt me. Was this a metaphorical connection to the carbon producing machines, directly responsible for death on a large scale (road traffic accidents), and indirectly responsible for death on a large scale (global warming), or was it just that the front of a car looks like a face?

The stinging nettles were poised and standing to attention, angled slightly forwards with purpose, ready to march. Beethoven’s ‘Symphony No. 5’ played out, apprehensively. The grass was gently undulating, like an ocean lake bobbing with occasional waves, and it was so green - the greenest green I have ever seen. We were hemmed in by the majestic hills of the Bannau Brycheiniog National Park and I had the peculiar sensation of being able to see from above and below simultaneously. It was a stereotypical psychedelic fairytale wonderland, pastel tones and hyper saturated colours, hi-definition depth of field perspective, high dynamic range. The temporary road surface stretched out into the infinite distance, a yellow brick road that warped time (note to self: stay on the track). What was probably a ten minute stroll felt like a whole day’s worth of hiking.

Despite this sumptuous feast for my outward senses, there was a battle raging internally. My partner was having a seemingly awful time, and although a firm believer in personal choice, I felt largely responsible. Responsible for not having cautioned against the excursion, responsible for not having taken a more active role in procuring the transport, and now responsible for navigating the consequences, of which my ability to do so was teetering on the brink. I was frustrated that things had taken a turn down the dark path and annoyed we weren’t just having carefree fun together. I was exhausted, felt like I wanted to lie down, close my eyes and sleep, but knew the gods wouldn’t allow it. I was at the bottom of another enormous mountain, looking up at the top and thinking, “right now, I’m not sure if I have it in me”.

Terrible things were happening all around me that I couldn’t control. The desire to press the panic button was (almost) overwhelming, I wanted nothing more than to tap out. And deep down inside, in that calm and grounded place of what might be called ‘the subjective truth’, an omnipotent voice said, “Nah ah, not this time mate. The only way out is through and it will be very tough, but don’t worry because you’ve got this”.

Recommended:

Stro Elliot - Black & Loud

Recommended to me by Mr Bon Suis, this is some damn funky sheeet. Listen here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Wake and Shake

This track from the forthcoming EP ‘LV:HRD’ isn’t out until November, but Gilles Peterson gave it a spin on his 6 Music show last weekend. Big thanks to Gilles for the support! You can listen to the show, which also featured Bristol legend Batu here.

Stone Cold Hustle - A Funky Happening

A new night of funk and good times taking place at Kuumba Centre. Sit down vibes, table service, but easy going. Date TBC (November / December)

Waking up really early before the sun comes up, when almost everyone else is tucked up warm in bed. Quietly moving about my flat (so as not to wake up the others), making a Thermos flask of tea and quickly getting ready to go out. Putting on my shoes and creeping out the door; I feel the bite of the cool morning air hit my face. I pick up Chris and his camera equipment and we drive to the location (usually out in nature). It’s eerie stepping out of the van into the wilderness, still dark, and we walk through the forest where the animals are still sleeping. The temperature is less than optimal, my stomach is confused about being asked to ‘fight or flight’ when it would normally be ‘resting and digesting’. I feel the earth between my fingers, the smell of damp leaves and forest floor detritus (duff) in my nostrils, precipitation dripping down my forehead. I love this planet. Like magic, the light begins to brighten, slowly at first, but then quicker and quicker. The giant majestic sun pops its head above the horizon, glowing triumphantly, warming emphatically. I stand ever so slightly awkward, not unaware of the surreal nature of the situation, yet with strong conviction. My feet firmly rooted into the ground and my torso standing strong to defiantly witness the unbelievable beauty of this scene.

And the rest…

6. Playing music (out of body experiences)

7. Writing music

8. Spending time with family and friends

9. Eating a delicious meal with someone you love

10. Ice skating

11. Driving fast

12. Rolling in the mud

Recommended:

Mumble Tide - Might As Well Play Another One

Gorgeous tunes, sharp and insightful lyrics, lovely recording. Listen here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Without Comma Enough

First single from ‘LV:HRD’ out now! Vocals and saxophone blending into one melodic instrument, to proclaim “I’m a fossil”. Listen here.

Stone Cold Hustle - A Funky Happening

A new night of funk and good times taking place at Kuumba Centre. Sit down vibes, table service, but easy going. Date TBC (November / December)

It features the extraordinary vocal talent of BB.JAMES and Bristol’s busiest drummer Ryan Thrupp on beats - vocals and saxophone seamlessly blending into one melodic instrument, to proclaim “I’m a fossil”. Written and recorded in the Ankh Sanctuary studio with Jonathan Wolf on production and Patrick Phillips on the mix. Special thanks to Adam Barringer at Play Regular for the graphic design and Chris Lucas for the snaps!

“We built our reputation off the back of intense live shows, but chasing that energy and being able to turn it on and off on demand was takings its toll. I was desperate for time and space to create new sounds, free from the restraint of expectation. From the beginning, Run Logan Run was set up as a vehicle to do #wotevathefukwewanted. Experimentation has always been at the core of my music making process and Prey/LV/Ears is the next evolution of this. I was waiting for the opportunity to partner up with BB.JAMES and Jonathan Wolf my entire life. We’ve been lifelong friends, but for various reasons the right moment to collaborate only just materialised. I also roped in Bristol’s busiest drummer, Ryan Thrupp. We spent a lot of time messing about in the studio, making strange noises, chatting shit, having a laugh basically. Trying to shed the pretence of past excursions.”

“As always, I was trying to expand the creative possibilities of the saxophone, this time using auto tune and side chains. It was especially pleasing to fuse my saxophone with BB.JAMES’s vocal on this track, forming a singular melodic instrument. I borrowed (stole) this technique from Gary Bartz.”

Listen on Spotify

or Bandcamp

Now back to the running; I should mention that walking is just as good as running, it’s about getting the body out into nature, warming up the muscles, making the heart work just a little harder, pumping the blood to the tips of your fingers, feeling the brisk chill of autumn air on your face. Similar to music, it makes me feel alive. Since I was a boy, I’ve been captivated by mountains. I find their towering presence exhilarating, they represent opportunity and hope, and every time I see one I have a deep urge to climb up it and stand on top. I love the feeling of anticipation seeing them up in the distance, gradually getting bigger and bigger as I get closer and closer. The UK has some beautiful mountain spots - The Lake District, Eryri (Snowdonia), The Scottish Highlands, and I can thank the Cub Scouts for introducing me to these wonderful places at a young age. The feeling of satisfaction I get from carrying myself on my own two legs up a mountain is immense. Although in my university days, when I was a member of the mountaineering society and we climbed some particularly hairy faces, I could never quite work out whether it was this feeling of satisfaction for getting to the top, or the feeling of relief for getting home safely that I enjoyed the most.

Side note: Running and mountains have been an ongoing theme in my art practice, check out ‘You Won't Ever Get Me On That Plane’ (2022) or ‘Tick Dick’ (2018).

Standing at the bottom of a mountain that I intend to climb always gives me butterflies. In a very literal sense, I can see the amount of effort that it will take to scale, and I know that there’s always another summit. It’s an uncomfortable feeling and I find it best to crack on, before fear gets the better of me. If you’ve been paying attention to the ‘Current and forthcoming works’ section at the bottom of these posts, you will have noticed that the Run Logan Run live show is coming back! Our first gig in well over a year will take place at Bristol Beacon on 7th November as part of Simple Things Festival. I’m extremely excited about this, not least because of the journey I’ve had to travel to get to this point. But right now, it feels like I’m standing at the bottom of a fucking huge mountain, and truth be told I’m bricking it. This week I’ve been preparing all the promo materials for the new record, which also drops in November. I wanted to share a small snippet of the press release, because it relates to the point of today’s particularly windy excursion…

By the summer of 2023 Run Logan Run had been relentlessly releasing music and touring for almost eight years. During this time they’d built a reputation for ferocious and thunderously dynamic live performances, intensely focussed from start to finish. Beginning as a duo of saxophone and drums, founding member and bandleader Andrew Neil Hayes gradually expanded the lineup to include many of Bristol’s most innovative musicians. This came to a peak for 2022’s ‘Nature Will Take Care Of You’, which featured string and brass sections, vocal arrangements, pianos and synthesisers, and double bass together with the core duo. Notable live dates from that period include the BBC Introducing Stage at Glastonbury Festival and a sold out headline show at The Jazz Cafe, together with support across BBC Radio 6 Music. The band’s success was due in large part, to the tireless dedication of Hayes, who not only steered the musical ship, but also managed the business affairs. At this point, feeling overwhelmingly burnt out, he decided to put the project on indefinite hiatus.

That’s right folks, I well and truly stacked it. The motorway services reference from ‘Temperance (See You Next Tuesday)’ is a lived experience. Taking time out was scary, but absolutely necessary. It allowed me to step back and realise how FUCKING GOD DAMN MUCH I LOVE MAKING THIS MUSIC. I’m reticent to give advice because if there’s one thing I know that I’m right about, it is that most of the time I think I’m right, I’m wrong. But, if you’re an artist questioning the fact, and contemplating whether or not you should continue or give up and do something else BLAH BLAH - the sooner you swallow your pride and accept that you don’t have a choice in the matter (you’re a creative person and making artwork is as vital to your existence as breathing), the sooner you can figure out a way to make ends meet that will afford you enough time and headspace to do the work you’re supposed to be doing. This Christmas you can catch me every Wednesday and Saturday in the Christmas parade at Centre Parcs, Longleat. Fuck it, I’ve well and truly deep throated my pride, but I’d have to work ten times as many hours in Tesco for the same wage.

Sorry, I’ve gone way off track here. I was talking about being scared to step off the treadmill and where I wanted to arrive at was: I’m now terrified to get back on it. All the running and mountain metaphors are perfect. The idea of putting a new live show together (which can match all that’s come before), seems like an off-road ultra marathon. I feel heavily resistant to stepping out the door, but in the same way that it’s often just a matter of putting on my shoes, I’m hoping that sharing a vivid account of my vision for the project with you, will motivate me to realise it.

This particular vision became clear in my mind on a long run through Leigh Woods. You might take ‘Stop Making Sense’ (the seminal live show from Talking Heads, which many argue is the best live show ever) as a starting point of reference. I want to fuse Run Logan Run’s wild improvisational roots with the delicate through-written arrangements of the latest record. Imagine a performance which morphs seamlessly between exclusively acoustic instrumentation and purely electronic sounds, gliding from free-time into strict metronomic tempo. The show could begin with improvised acoustic saxophone, before slowly bringing other instruments into the mix - drums, synthesisers, bass, and then the unmistakable vocal of BB.JAMES. Now we’re playing one of the new tracks, rich with electronic synthesis and heavily manipulated saxophone, locked into the grid. The drummer has a trigger pad loaded with samples from the record and as we near the end of the track we begin to reinterpret it, improvising with the same sounds but a new time feel.

If you’re aware of my performance art practice, you’ll know I often use live-streamed video projection. I’d like to utilise the same technique for the new Run Logan Run stage show. Imagine cameras on each musician streaming faces onto the wall behind us, intense eyes, augmented reality, the small magnified, nowhere to hide. This can be cut with footage that I shot whilst out running in the woods, mountain top views, silhouetted bodies, block colours - think pink, orange, red, umber, deep dark colours. I want you to feel engulfed in transcendental sound and vision, carried through space on a beautiful magic carpet of music and light. I want everyone to forget who they are and be totally and utterly present in a collective moment of vivid experience. Is this too much to ask?

Recommended:

Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense

If you haven’t seen this, you’re in for a treat! Check it out here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Without Comma Enough

First single from ‘LV:HRD’, the second instalment of the ‘Prey / LV / Ears’ triptych - releases tomorrow, special preview here.

Multiplying - Emperor Yes E.P.

Originally intended as a multitrack capture, the session was technically derailed when Matt’s laptop was stolen in the days leading up to the recording. In response, the entire session was documented using a single Shure MV88+ stereo condenser microphone. Available to purchase on strictly limited 7” until 26th September from Skew Note.

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival

First live show in over a year.

Side note: A good way to make things happen is to say ‘yes’. Put a date in the diary and worry about how to make it happen later, sign yourself up to things and then commit. (Kind of the theme of this weeks writing).

There’s a meditation to running - my body concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, my lungs focus on drawing air in and out and my mind (once it’s got over the discomfort and the pain) can freely wander. Many of my best creative ideas emerged from this state. The challenge is trying to remember everything that pops into my head. Sometimes I’ll kept a ledger of all the thoughts I’ve had, so that I can tick them off as soon as I have chance to write them down. For particularly good ideas that I don’t want to forget, I’ll record a voice note on my phone. A similar phenomenon happens on long drives. Yesterday, whilst driving down the M5 I grabbed my phone to record the following message…

“Start off talking about taking notes, about how I used to keep a sketch book and that was taught to me at school - the importance of doing that, and then at art school as well, and then how before social media and computers blah blah blah, I used to keep a sketch book all the time and now I’ve got all these beautiful sketch books that I like to leaf back through, but now I don’t really do that so much, I guess cause life is busier. I can also talk about keeping notes on my phone and talk about how voice notes are great because I can be driving down the motorway and thinking. I can talk about time to think, how running and driving are good places to think about things and use that time wisely as an artist. And then I can bridge from that into talking about how running parallels with life.”

For the past four years I’ve kept a daily journal - fellow artists, I highly recommend it. I have a half baked theory about why making art is getting harder and harder. The world is speeding up and our attention has become a commodity to be bought and sold by tech companies. The atmosphere is not conducive for making art. Creativity comes when the brain is idling, not constantly revving. I believe one of our tasks as artists, is to slow ourselves down, to have the courage to step off the treadmill and just sit. It’s scary because it feels like being left behind. Putting a real pen to real paper is a good start. How many of you have lost the muscles in your hands for writing? Use it or lose it. Fuck those tech companies, don’t let them take away our physical aptitude (I rant as I type on a MacBook).

For a while I’ve been thinking about an idea for a book called, ‘Why I Like Running - What It Teaches Me About Life.’ Here are some initial notes…

• There’s always another summit - doesn’t matter how far you run, there are always more miles. Or as one of my friends put it, “your troubles will still be there when you get back”.

• All you need is a pair of well fitting shoes - there are all kinds of expensive accessories, none of which will make you run faster.

• One foot in front of the other, over and over again - sometimes it really is that simple.

• Body, mind, spirit - you’ve gotta know when to push, when to cruise and when to lay back.

• Discomfort - It’s not about not feeling pain, it’s about feeling it and doing it anyway.

• Sooner or later, you will stack it - better to accept the inevitable and let it wash over you, than spend all your time worrying about the future that never arrives.

• Self-reliance - will only get you so far, occasionally it’s better to ask for help.

• Sometimes you have to pretend you didn’t see the ‘No Trespassing’ signs

• If it’s a long run, put some Vaseline on your nipples - just trust me on this one.

Here’s a technique that I’ve successfully used to haul my tired ass up many hills, I call it ‘Moving The Goalposts’. It’s quite simple, you pick a landmark up ahead (a lamppost, a red car, a particularly good looking tree). Depending on how tired you’re feeling, the landmark can be anywhere between ten to one hundred meters away. Now, with the target acquired, you just focus on reaching that point. When you’ve nearly run past it, you pick a new goal post, and so on until you reach the finish line. I should say that this technique is only good for covering distances, it will not necessarily aid enjoyment (try applying it to life). One of my favourite running activities is saying “hello” to passing strangers. I don’t believe all this hateful rhetoric; I’ve been lucky enough to travel to many countries and my overwhelming experience of people is that they’re great!

To be continued…

Recommended:

Lara Jones - Dome

I met Lara whilst touring with Run Logan Run and was instantly captivated by her intention and focus. Check out the beautiful electronic landscape of Dome here. There’s also an excellent episode of the Ankh Sanctuary Live Broadcasts (mid pandemic) featuring Lara, available to watch here.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Without Comma Enough

First single from ‘LV:HRD’, the second instalment of the ‘Prey / LV / Ears’ triptych - releases 23/09/25!

Gianan & Hayes - Lamentation Station

Debut 7” release from new guitar & saxophone duo on Skew Note, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release recorded at Ankh Sanctuary studio and out now! Available here (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival

That’s right folks, the live show is coming back 08/11/25

Critical self-talk can be useful, but it must be tempered with a good sense of humour and a compassionate attitude, otherwise it will wreck your self-esteem. One of my favourite sayings, “Serious mind, light heart”, was passed onto me by my Kung Fu teacher Sarer Scotthorne. I understand this to mean try your best, but know that sooner or later you will fuck up. Here are a selection of adages from various traditions on the same theme…

“The flame that burns Twice as bright burns half as long” - Lao Tzu

“Better to burn out than to fade away” - Neil Young

“L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs” - Bernard of Clairvaux

“Christ died for our sins” - 1 Corinthians 15:3

“Slow and steady wins the race” - Aesop's Fables

This week I drew the Temperance card from a Tarot deck. Once, many years ago, I drew the Devil card three times in a row, having reshuffled the pack in-between each selection. I used to find those cards scary, but not so much now.

Side note: When I was a young boy I was also terrified of fireworks and rollercoasters.

Working too hard can thin your hair and give you bags under your eyes; it can give you IBS and diabetes; make you short sighted and narrow minded. It must be tempered with good food and good company, and the realisation that some people don’t have a choice about how hard they have to work.

I tell my students to nurture their family alongside their career, to call their friends weekly and ask them how they’re doing. Because when you inevitably end up at a service station, staring out the window into the abyss of the M6, fantasising about throwing your body into the oncoming traffic and profusely apologising to your colleagues for being an absolute prick, it will be your friends who scrape your ass off the tarmac and put you back together again.

Recently I wrote an application for the Bristol Beacon Resident Artists programme. Sadly it didn’t get selected, but I’m certain there was some strong competition (congratulations to whoever did get selected). In the past Run Logan Run has been lucky enough to receive funding from a bunch of similar organisations. Despite being unsuccessful this time, I’m certain that future applicants might find it useful to read what I wrote, so I thought I’d include a link to the document in this post (minus the boring admin questions). Feel free to take what you need and ignore the rest.

I’ll wrap this up with one final adage…

“You can’t save your face and your ass at the same time”

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Without Comma Enough

First single from ‘LV:HRD’, the second instalment of the ‘Prey / LV / Ears’ triptych - releases 23/09/25!

Gianan & Hayes - Lamentation Station

Debut 7” release from new guitar & saxophone duo on Skew Note, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release recorded at Ankh Sanctuary studio and out now! Available here (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival

That’s right folks, the live show is coming back 08/11/25

Recommended:

Lawi Anywar - Centenarian

Gorgeous ‘shoegaze funk’ with beautiful lyrics from musical polymath Lawi Anywar and featuring heavyweight Bristol crew. Bandcamp is best.

Dan Johnson - People as the Medium or Material

Solo drums from RLR OG founding member and stalwart of the Bristol (and UK) improv scene Dan Johnson. Available on super limited lathe cut 7” from Skew Note until 12th sept 2025.

Before I go on, I should like to thank Andrew J Brooks for facilitating the work. In his own words, “Concrete Block is a non-gallery gallery space for testing. It is a not for profit experiment in an unconventional space – a garage in the Tollcross area of Edinburgh, giving artists the opportunity for residencies and exhibitions. It is for facilitation and experimentation.” My experience of Concrete Block was exactly that, so I’m truly grateful to Andrew for giving me the opportunity to spend time there making new work, and helping me to premiere it at the Festival. Spaces like this are vital for artists and musicians, they’re where the real shit happens - DIY TILL I DIE! Andrew has a new project called AAC Trio - please check them out. I would also like to say a special thank you to my wonderful partner Daniella, who not only kept me grounded throughout the lead up to the show, but also stepped in at short notice to host as the sole usher (originally, I’d naively thought I would play the roles of artist, technician and usher all by myself - LOL).

Now follows a short account of the performance. If I could accurately describe everything that happened in words, it would render the work itself redundant. Instead of trying and failing to do such a thing, I would prefer to offer brief glimpses of something best witnessed in person…

Welcome to Hostage Part Two. This is a brand new live performance work by Andrew Neil Hayes.

Just a few bits of housekeeping before we begin…

• The performance will last about 25 minutes, during which time we will be inside the garage space together

• If for any reason you feel like you need to step outside the space, just let me know and I’ll let you out

• Please feel free to walk about the space as you like, just be mindful you don’t knock over the speakers or trip over a cable!

• Once I open up the garage door please step inside quickly and find a place to stand as the performance will begin promptly

• The artist has kindly asked that everyone please remain silent for the duration of the performance

• After the performance it would be wonderful if you’d like to leave any comments or thoughts you had about the work. There are some bits of paper and pens on the side for this purpose. There are also some postcards that you’re welcome to take

Thank you and we hope you enjoy the work. We’ll just wait for the signal now.

The ‘signal’ was a text message from me to Daniella that read, “Good”. She whipped up the metal door and the audience were ushered into the garage and quickly found a space to stand, before the door was shut behind them. I was lying centrally on the floor and there were two projection screens stacked vertically on the wall behind me. The top screen streamed a live video of my eyes and the bottom screen showed prerecorded footage that I’d previously shot in situ. I held a specially constructed stethoscope microphone to my chest and this was plugged into the PA, which amplified my heartbeat. I also held a dictaphone, which played an audio recording of a reading from my diary. Near the end, I wrote love letters to the audience and handed them out. I wanted people to have something positive to take away with them.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - LV:HRD

Part two of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych - first single drops 23/09/25!

Gianan & Hayes - Lamentation Station

Debut 7” release from new guitar & saxophone duo on Skew Note, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release recorded at Ankh Sanctuary studio and out now! Available here (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival

That’s right folks, the live show is coming back 08/11/25

Recommended:

AAC Trio - T Street Mass EP

Blistering new trio featuring Andrew J Brooks on bass saxophone. Check it out here.

I began setting up for Hostage Part Two just a couple of days before opening night and was woefully underprepared. Having experienced this particular brand of panic many times before, I just about held it together - “stay cool muthafucker”, but it got me thinking about perfectionism. Perfectionism is often seen as a defect of character, but I think artists need to be rigorous in their execution. If I have an idea in my head that I believe is worth bringing into the physical world, I want you to be able to see it as vividly as I can. I was annoyed because I’d left it too late to get good quality postcards and business cards printed and instead had to settle for second rate ‘Next Day’ cards that weren’t coated in matt or gloss varnish. I was frustrated because getting the projector which was suspended from the rafters to perfectly line up with the back wall, was practically impossible using picture wire and I really ought to have ordered a ceiling mount in advance and installed the projector first, before shooting the video. And I was scolding myself for not making time to reshoot the mouth portion of the prerecorded video with a more recent diary entry. Nevertheless, I kept reminding myself of something that Woody said in Toy Story…

“That wasn't flying. That was falling with style.”

Such wisdom is hard-won on the battlefields of Getting Shit Done.

It’s now 18:29 and I need to wrap this up because I have to be back at Concrete Block Gallery in an hour for tonight’s show. I’ll leave you with a short bit I wrote previously about letting go…

I am hanging from a bar, desperately clinging on. My knuckles white as the skin stretches taught across the bones, my muscles cramping as the fibres contract and the lactic acid burns my flesh. It is so painful, but I continue to endure it because the fear of letting go overpowers my desire to be free from this bondage. I’m scared by my fantasy of the feeling of falling, I’m terrified by my imagination of what it feels like to hit the floor from such great heights. I’ve reached a state of despair, a psychic breakdown. I’m completely trapped in a fate of my own creation, “everything’s fucked” (and I really do believe it).

This phase was so absolute, so overpowering that it felt final. The tiny kernel of hope, the smallest flicker of light in an infinite darkness finally extinguished. And in that very moment my mind gave way to my body, and my body could no longer maintain it’s position. My fingers sprang open and I floated down in a blissful dreamlike state as if angels held me in their arms and gently flew me back down to earth. Falling was in fact exhilarating and the landing was cushioned. I looked up and thought to myself, “I can see now. I guess that’s what they mean by ‘let go and let god’”. From this moment onwards (at least for now), I only wish to create work which provides a hopeful imagination of the future.

Current and forthcoming works:

Run Logan Run - Prey For Peace

Part one of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, available here.

Run Logan Run - LV:HRD

Part two of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release from fellow Stone Cold Hustle groovemeister, coming August 2025. (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Run Logan Run - Simple Things Festival

That’s right folks, the live show is coming back!

Recommended:

ML Buch - Suntub

Dreamy leftfield alt-rock with some rather interesting electronic elements from Danish artist Marie Louise Buch. Check it out here.

It seems to me that the best way I can understand myself, the world, and my relation to it, is through talking to other people - and so I invite you to be a part of this discourse. I propose that we agree to enter into this dance of ideas in good faith. I cannot claim to be correct about even half of the things I think I know. In fact being what some might call a ‘mid-career artist’, if time has taught me anything, it is that much like the giant irritation that is WhatsApp, my understanding of ideas is constantly updating. I would like to talk with anyone who’s listened to my music, or watched my films, or been present at a live performance of mine, bought my records or read my book. [Look it’s all ‘me’, ‘my’, ‘mine’, ‘self’!]

Some of you will know me as Andrew Neil Hayes, others as one half/third/quarter/fifth of Run Logan Run, or perhaps the saxophonist in Stone Cold Hustle. First of all, thank you - none of this is worth anything without your eyes, ears, touch. As such, this ‘thirst’ entry is somewhat of a love letter to you. I shall not struggle to hook you with lust in the first paragraph, I would prefer to build a sustainable long-term relationship. The treadmill really is going at top speed, I don’t know how many levels are left. I assume it will continue getting faster and faster until all the bolts begin to vibrate loose and the machine collapses in a spectacular implosion of broken gears and ruptured rubber. We shall slump on the rubble with sprained ankles and broken wrists and question: “how the fuck did we get here?”

Having truly crashed out, my grip weakened from repetitive strain, no longer able to cling on to that which I can no longer control, I was afforded the gift of desperation and the wisdom of hindsight. Feeding the attention economy with distraction is a mug’s game. And if this is you reader, I apologise; I don’t mean to be unkind, but I would like to suggest this: you don’t need to do that. The system is a trap, plain and simply an addiction. The platforms are the dealers and they hook us with little hints of dopamine delivered consistently without any effort. We’ve slept walked into this, holding any trepidation at bay with justifications such as, “I’m just keeping in contact with my friends”, “I need to shill my wares”, “I must talk to my audience”. Fair enough, but for the love of Higher Power/The Universe/Our Children/God, this ain’t the way. As Prester John Andrews wrote in his excellent essay By Any Other Name: The Devil, Hitler and Kanye West, “If a movement can destroy social bonds without having anything to replace them with other than individualism and consumerism, all the better” - fuck that.

We are in the business of philosophy and I don’t believe that’s anything to be scared of. It is as much for the lay person, as it is for the academic - we’re all in this together. When I say ‘talking to people’, I don’t just mean with words. We are in the business of communication and I believe this is absolutely paramount. Language is spoken, written, performed, painted, played, drawn, unspoken, unwritten. It is words, visuals, music, gestures. Different subjects are best approached by different means. When words fall short, I use sounds, the saxophone, film, dancing.

“I couldn’t tell you, but I can show you” - something I wrote in my diary.

“You know more, but I feel more” - Ornette Coleman.

No matter how original the thought, the concept, the conception, all offerings exist in a continuity of context. Some art forms considered ‘high brow’ or exclusionary, are only so because outsiders have not been privy to the preceding conversations. Every now and then, this is interrupted by the excellently naive frustrations of a debutant, a w’hol(l)y’ necessary intervention to disrupt the discourse and prevent it going too far up the collective anus. I’m trying to say something about art and context being inextricably linked, but perhaps I shall expand on this another time.

[Some things that cause me anxiety… What happens when my parents die? How will I support a family? I was born alone and I die alone? Death and abandonment, failure and uselessness.]

I would like to take a minute to outline some proposed topics of conversation, which I intend to present weekly on Monday mornings…

• The joy of Art

• Sharing wisdom

• The Creative Act (doesn’t mention how to make a living)

• A paradox: Self vs Selfless

• Relaxation

• Slowing down

• The ecstasy of sound

• A responsibility

• Imagining our future (hope)

• James Brandon Lewis - “The bad actors of this world are working hard, we must work harder to counteract them!”

• The law of opposites

• Serious mind, light heart

• Letting Go (I recall a post-it-note stuck to my computer years ago.

  ---

The irony that I found this quote on Facebook has not escaped me. I don’t know for sure if it was actually even said by Meryl Streep; when I googled it, all I could find were other entries on LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, Threads, Substack, TikTok (what a nightmare).

If this writing reads like a hotchpotch (what a great word) assortment of ideas, the bric-a-brac table at a village fete, the confused ramblings of an incoherent mind, that’s probably because it may well be a little of all of those things. I make no apologies, my experience of art is often a clumsy and haphazard affair. Can you imagine trying to condense this into a 1080x1330 pixel image, or a 90 second video? I need a way to communicate with you and social media ain’t it! I shall close by saying, thank you once more…

Sometimes I feel like my head might explode because I can’t express all the joy and happiness and adoration that is swirling around inside of it. Like the aliens in the film Mars Attacks!, my brain could just splat its contents all over the inside of my helmet in a splurge of emotion. It becomes a daily practice to wrangle the strength required in order to contain this supercharged energy. I am like an unstable isotope, dealing with too many neutrons, emitting radiation to achieve a more stable state. This really is a tonic for the ills of the world, a balm for tired minds, an elixir for worn out bodies, a revitaliser for jaded dispositions. Nothing I can do or say can measure up to the love I feel for you.

Current and forthcoming works:

Andrew Neil Hayes - Hostage Part Two

A brand new performance for small audiences taking place at Edinburgh Fringe.

23rd & 24th August 2025, details and tickets available here.

Run Logan Run - Prey For Peace

Part one of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, available here.

Run Logan Run - LV:HRD

Part two of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release from fellow Stone Cold Hustle groovemeister, coming August 2025. (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Recommended:

Tyler, The Creator: The DON'T TAP THE GLASS Interview | Zane Lowe

Inspirational words from a true master, available here.

First of all, THANK YOU! I’m truly grateful for your involvement without which, the work would be redundant. Second, I would like to welcome you to my new platform (mailing list, banner, club, art conglomerate) entitled Ankh Sanctuary and hosted by Substack.

Side note: When I first typed the word ‘conglomerate’ I flinched because of it’s corporate connotations. However, on looking it up in the dictionary, I discovered the following…

noun | kənˈɡlɒm(ə)rət |

1 a thing consisting of a number of different and distinct parts or items that are grouped together: the Earth is a specialised conglomerate of organisms.

• a large corporation formed by the merging of separate and diverse firms: a media conglomerate.

2 [mass noun] Geology a coarse-grained sedimentary rock composed of rounded fragments embedded in a matrix of cementing material such as silica: the sediments vary from coarse conglomerate to fine silt and clay.

adjective | kənˈɡlɒm(ə)rət |

relating to a conglomerate, especially a large corporation: conglomerate firms.

verb | kənˈɡlɒməreɪt | [no object]

gather together into a compact mass: atoms which conglomerate at the centre.

• form a conglomerate by merging diverse firms: the urge to conglomerate has long been out of fashion in American boardrooms.

… and so it would appear to be the ideal term.

I have created this ‘merger’ to unify my artistic practice into a singular space and believe it will be easier to reach you via this method of communication. In doing so I hope to provide context to my work, as well as suggested avenues for further exploration / understanding. In turn I hope this will enrich your enjoyment of it. I should mention this was somewhat inspired by the excellent monthly transmission of fellow RLR founding member and absolute legend of the Bristol Scene, Dan Johnson. Please do sign up for his mailouts too, because they’re wonderful!

My proposal is one weekly email that will include an essay and links to associated work, delivered to your inbox on Monday morning. I will be dividing my writings into the following categories…

• For fans of music &/or art

• For fellow artists &/or musicians

• Sundries (miscellaneous small items)

I’m aware many of my audience members will be both fans and fellows, but I hope the labelling will provide a starting point. I do not believe ‘comments’ sections provide a meaningful mode of dialog so I shall be turning these off, but if you would like to be involved in the conversation please do feel free to email me, your thoughts would be most welcome!

Once again, thank you for your support. This work will always be free to access, however if you’re able, please consider supporting with a paid subscription. If not please don’t worry, enjoy the work for free. I will end this introductory message with a quote that I came across this morning from George Orwell…

“The main motive for ‘non-attachment’ is a desire to escape from the pain of living, and above all from love, which, sexual or non-sexual, is hard work.”

Current and forthcoming works:

Andrew Neil Hayes - Hostage Part Two

A brand new performance for small audiences taking place at Edinburgh Fringe.

23rd & 24th August 2025, details and tickets available here.

Run Logan Run - Prey For Peace

Part one of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, available here.

Run Logan Run - LV:HRD

Part two of the Prey / LV / Ears triptych, coming Autumn 2025.

Jacob Houghton - Seldom Seen

Debut solo guitar release from fellow Stone Cold Hustle groovemeister, coming August 2025. (stay tuned for invite to a secret launch gig)

Recommended:

Ryosuke Kiyasu - Resonance Rekindled

Stunning debut release from brand new label ‘Skew Note’, captures the raw and intimate energy of solo percussion through the masterful artistry of Ryosuke Kiyasu.